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2008-09-05 - 10:23 a.m. break down boxes You'd think that I'd be unpacking gradually each night... but you'd be thinking wrong. Most nights I come home and Scott is ABSOLUTELY exhausted from keeping up with Katie all day and not sleeping at all (pretty much for a week) So I'm chasing after her, and she doesn't often lend herself to unpacking. I have gotten to unpack a little, and she did help us unload the dishwasher (unstack the dishwasher is how i'd say it, but i've been informed that it sounds silly... so *shrug*) we still have 3-4 moderate boxes in the living room, 15-20 in the garage, and another 10-15 smattered about the house. I'm not too worried about the ones in the garage. I'm not stressing, No one will really be in our garage this weekend. But our basement, living room and family room are another case. If someone wants to come and chase Katie around my backyard in the morning-- I'd love that, so i can get a modicum of work done. I was contacted last night about the kind of cake/ice cream we should get for Drama Queen's party tomorrow. I felt bad that I didn't know her better, and know what kind she'd want. I do know her favorite kind of cake (it's the same as Scott's!) is Funfetti, but as the store doesn't have Funfetti cake, I opted for Yellow. Maybe I made a huge faux pas and she really wanted something else. I also didn't know what kind of ice cream, but I thought about it and all I could remember was that she doesn't like fruit so much in her ice cream, because she prefers her ice cream to be all "junk" and not healthy. :) I felt good that I remembered that much. LOL. I know that her favorite music is from Phantom of the Opera, and her favorite Movie is Gone With the Wind. She loves Pink and brown together, She loves children (yay babies!) I know she is generally the most happy person I have ever met. I also know that I have horrible taste in men for her and should really stop trying to hook her up, because it usually ends up in some sort of emotionally damaging relationship. Yay me! ;) I know that she's the sweetest most awesome friend ever. She's generous and loving. She doesn't care if you're in your pj's all day and you look like crap, she just is easy going. She's just as neurotic as I am, which is saying something ;) though we balance out about the things we're neurotic about. We haven't always been close, but we've always been able to laugh together, and talk together. Which makes me glad. Happy Birthday Drama Queen! Here's to the best year yet! Derringer Meryl [kitten caboodle] Out 2008-09-03 - 10:33 a.m. *AHEM!* And the song made me think of this verse in 1 Corinthians (Chapter 10 Verse 13, if anyone is playing along...) There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. That's one of my most favorite scriptures ever. Mostly because anything (literally anything) that makes you lose the spirit or fall from your goals can be viewed as a temptation. Your trials and adversities. God will provide you a way through it. When you are feeling weak like you need to say something mean to someone you don't like much, you can give into the temptation, or rise above it with God's Help. It's hard to always remember that, to remember that all you have to do when you are tempted is to ask for help, and it'll be there. I'll have to work harder in the future to remember. <<<<<<< I was watching the news Briefly this morning and they were saying there were some political riots. My first thought was "Man aren't we past this now?" and then my next few thoughts were-- "I wonder if people thought that during the revolutionary war? That we were too cultured a people to fight amongst ourselves?" and then immediately after that I thought "I bet if Obama becomes president-- there are going to be some HARDCORE riots." I think it's interesting that people are so fired up about these two men who would be president. Sometimes I wonder (now that I'm older) if things were like this before, and I didn't notice because I was young, or if things really are different? I have to say that Obama would definitely be my choice at this point. I keep thinking though, Obama will be in a lot of danger a lot of the time (not from me, don't get me wrong) thanks to close minded bigots and just angry people. I hope his family is ready for that. :( Derringer Meryl [You are sunlight and I moon] Out 2008-09-02 - 3:00 p.m.
After:
We painted hard core on Monday, we now also have a washer and dryer. I hope to be able to get a sun light fixture for this room, and sponge some clouds on the wall. This is our "perma" nursery. For any future younglings that may come along :) Thus the blue. Derringer Meryl [Sooo Tired] Out 2008-08-26 - 12:57 p.m. yes, I'm that big of a geek! 2008-08-25 - 5:35 p.m. 2008-08-22 - 11:17 a.m. I also peculiarly addressed all my journal entries. Every last one. Although they were all the same peculiarity-- Scott looked at them once and -- well I've never written since then. Not physically written. I cannot. I have writers block in the extreme. or should I say writers embarrassment. It's not that I didn't care what others might have thought before as to what I may have written-- I had never opened my journal to let someone read before. I had previously thought of publishing my journals from High School (I toyed with the idea in an anonymous name...) however my journalistic ability completely doubted-- I closed my last journal never to write again. It's a hard thing opening yourself up to others. Of all the little dumb things I do (and have done for that matter, little skeletons in my closet) the one thing I prided myself in most is the one thing he laughed at. I've never told him how much it hurt me, and to be honest I never really realized how big of a deal it was. Never really related back my inability to write now to that particular instance. The reality is that i don't have writer's block. I'm insecure... and afraid to write again. I read my writings different now. Even the most eloquent (or as eloquent as I get) words sound like trash and I delete them, or throw them away. The one thing I loved about myself the most, is the one thing I can't do any more. I was never excellent at writing. I certainly toyed with the idea of writing a book, or a novel, or a collection of poems... I always knew I wasn't quite good enough for all of that, but I was good enough to be proud (or happy with if you'd prefer) what I did. Maybe Someday I'll make my way back there. Maybe someday I'll be able to articulate myself via the written word. If you ever feel so inclined (or so imposed) to get me a present (Mothers day, My birthday, random happenstance, any reason) please buy me a journal. A pretty one that when you look at it you think of me. I'll try and fill it for you. I want to stretch my mind again and think and feel the way I once did. I may never be a teenager again, but a personal journal (not a blog) should be the one place you can free yourself from the world, and say what you want to, and feel how you want to. I miss that. Derringer Meryl [Feeling a bit Blue] Out 2008-08-21 - 3:04 p.m. Nothing too exciting going on. Just waiting in anticipation for us to close on our house....
So I'm excited. I want to paint Katie's room, anyone who is willing to help me paint and might have a good eye for stripes, I'd appreciate your help. I want to start asap (probably next friday, the 29th) I'll do the base coat by myself and then I'll need help getting the stripes lined up straight... yes, any help (and if anyone has a laser level, that'd be great....) would be greatly appreciated... even if it's just someone to talk to while I do it, I'd be VERY happy to not be alone while I'm doing it. Scott is not keen on the idea of painting so I'll be alone on that front. Seriously. Come keep me company. Oh... and if you have a step ladder... or happen to be tall... ;) Call me! :D I've been trying to play FFIV... I think I'm doing fairly well, I get distracted easily and want to go do something else a lot, so I'm not terribly far. I'm off to look up more KSL ads for stuff. ;) Derringer Meryl [Couches, washers, and fridges oh my] Out 2008-08-18 - 11:08 a.m. So everything is moving smoothly with the house. I vote no news is good news. We went appliance hunting this weekend, and Scott and I debated the front loading washer debate of 2008. Which wasn't that big. He said the front loading washers were all plastic and chinsey looking, and I thought they looked nice, but agreed that the plastic felt like it was one blow dryer away from snapping like a dry twig underneath the pressure of a dandelion seed. So even though the front loaders are 2x as energy efficient... we'll probably be getting a top loader. :P Oh well. I'm pretty blase when it comes to fridges though. I just would like it to dispense water and ice in the door, and other than that it could be filled with rabid monkeys who want to feast upon my flesh and I wouldn't care. Though I can think of some unsavory things I'd like to not have inside my fridge.... but we won't go there. And WTH is up with the smell that emanates from fridges that are Brand new anyway? The 'new appliance' smell. ugh. Part of me likes it the first two or three times I smell it and then... It kinda makes me want to vomit. In Katie news, she has been waking up dry in the mornings. For those of you who are dense, that means she hasn't used her diaper at all. It's not spent. I am amazed. We considered getting her a potty seat, but then decided we were too premature in that sense, and vetoed it. Oh, and why are there only three potty seat's in the whole of the US? HMM? Dora the Explorer, Bob the Builder, and Sesame Street. Now Katie has seen Dora once, but being 15 months old, she can take her or leave her. Where's the Backyardigans toilet seat? Katie would love that HARDCORE. She was bouncing on our bed this morning while she watched Backyardigans, and I buried my head further into pillows to try and manage a few more minutes of Sleep. It didn't work. Katie LOVES the outdoors. Scott and I aren't sure where the heck she got this love (I am particularly perplexed, I die outside unless the sun is no where in sight) she cries and goes limp when she's inside and throws a fit. I'll be glad when we have a back yard, and a fence where we can let her run and jump and play without too much concern (we can't leave her out unattended, but at least we can sit in the shade and let her play without worry about where she's running off to.) Despite continuing drama boiling over, I remain buoyant. :) Things are good. Derringer Meryl [Happiness] Out 2008-08-12 - 4:10 p.m. I can't say I know entirely what is going on, last I recall it was a bit like this: Scott has a friend he's known for a while, and he went the way of... adam? and got married... Long story short, one day we're discussing Harry Potter (and Scott's extreme distaste for it) and all of the sudden I'm defending Scott's right to have an opinion on something he listened to as a book on tape, and how he can still have an opinion on it. Blah blah blah, I tell her she's wrong, she insists she's right, and suddenly, we all aren't talking anymore. Flash forward to last week, when all of the sudden the following words were slandered against me (since all of my friends and some of my family have seen them, WHY NOT the whole internet?) See as follows: You and I are not friends. The treatment I've received from [Scott] and [Meryl] are things that I would not tolerate from my oldest and dearest friends, let alone some strangers who have done nothing to endear themselves to me, and plenty to aggravate me. What you don't understand or ignoring is the fact that I'm under no obligation to be friendly to you. There is no "friend code" that requires everyone has to like everyone else. However, simple manners dictate that I be at least civil. I believe I have been exactly that. I am not going to open myself up to more insults. And if you think the reason that I'm irritated with you is not because something as "juvenile as Harry Potter", then you are either simple or ignoring the bigger issue. I'm pissed off because I believe that you are emotional and mental abusive for your own entertainment. You feel the need to insult and irritate people purely for amusement. I don't find that acceptable. I've seen the long term effects of such abuse, and that is not something I'm willing to expose myself to. I'm not really sure what happened here, I was very blind sighted by the whole damn thing. I'll admit it, I'm not going to put up some bravado here, I cried when I read this. I literally cried for an hour, at work. Which sucked. But I'm past that now, and firmly in the "WTH!?" stage of the whole thing. I wonder what could have really set her off about me? Sometimes I feel like I piece part of the puzzle together, and honestly a witty and clever person would say "OH, WTH? Ms. Noital, What's up with this?" and work it out. I have an inferiority complex when it comes to my ability to communicate effectively, especially when it comes to conflict resolution. I often feel like my point is missed. Considering I just learned to effectively communicate things that disturbed me in High School (previously, I'd bottle. Not unlike to what I'm doing now.)I suppose I should practice (as practice makes perfect) but honestly I try not to sweat the small stuff... because I can't stress out every time some nice girl turns into a shrill harpy and tries to bring me down. I admit it still effects me-- What really bothers me though is how much it effects Scott. To him his friends and his family are NOT two different things. He loves them both VERY much. So he's quite torn up. He wants us all to get along. I can't blame him, he's not a 'just keep your mouth shut' kind of guy, he wants to work things out, and not really in a public way (Not everyone is an exhibitionist like I am... I'd like to add, that I'm the first definition, not the second... according to answers.com) I like to berate people in secret, or semi secret, the glorious-ness of my blog (Though through some painful learning my family is exempt from this rule, we discuss family issues in private, like civilized people. ;)) I wonder if I should, or would say anything back. I have considered-- but have come to the conclusion that there are no words for the unneeded verbal assault. I often worry and wonder (after the written verbal assaults I've experienced, and yes there have been a few. Thank God for the Internet) how much of the hate spewed in my direction is deserved? In this case, none. I have consulted and deliberated. While it's true Ms. Noital and I do not have the friendliest of terms, I have never spoken to her in a way that I would not speak to my own husband if I were disagreeing with him. And that's saying something considering Scott and I's fights are usually full of sticking tongues out and what not. I wasn't aware that our arguments were anything more than disagreements (IE, there was no screaming) as they were just ... simple "Hey I don't think you're right" statements. Apparently that was poison enough. In any case... I feel bad that things have deteriorated. I wish they could have more calmly and collectively expressed their frustration or hurt caused on our behalf before such an angry outburst. I think though-- this feeds back into my own favorite theory. I have a theory that you should do your best not to judge people (which I am guilty of, I'm not feigning the saint here) because you don't know where they're coming from. By making a judgment on a person's actions and their life in it's status now-- you're assuming-- and I think we all know what's wrong with assuming. ;) It's the same with every person we meet. Don't know what they've done in their life, what path they've traveled. Some people tell you their whole story, some people will draw out a time line to the best of their recollection. Other people try to shove their past in their past and lock it away with a key, and never tell anyone. I suppose there are even people out there who don't even recall emotional events that have shaped their life. ^_^; Days like today make me feel trapped. I feel like all of my potential to be a great writer, all the best words and phrases, and the sweet poetic and beautiful images well up inside me. They feel cluttered and shining. Lost, no direction. I wish i could unleash the flood gate. I wish I could say the words to let them loose. I hesitate, and hold back. Maybe someday I'll be a good writer when I'm uninhibited from my fears. Derringer Meryl [huffing] Out 2008-08-06 - 2:47 p.m. So sad that Blue October's My Never Won't officially be released until next year. I fell in love with this song yesterday, and ... *sigh* I can't help but love Blue October just a bit more for it. Mom commented that she didn't think Justin (the singer of the band who you can see singing My Never on youtube) is that great of a singer, but I think he's full of passion, and the song is sung well. My back is calling to me to take some advil or something. To which I shortly say no. Twenty-Two months of pregnancy/Breastfeeding has taught me I don't need medication as much as I *THINK* I need medication. I bet a Pioneer woman wouldn't even notice that her back hurt at all. I bet this was just how her back felt, all the time. What a wuss I am. Things are going well with the house. I have been working very hard to get our Underwriting process taken to task. It's quite ... Hard? It's difficult to balance work and the underwriting process. How about that? We're still waiting on some information to come through. I'll keep you all up to date as possible. Off to listen to some more Blue October. Derringer Meryl [Heaven] Out 2008-08-05 - 4:38 p.m. I was annoyed. As if you couldn't tell. LOL. Life has been good. Things are going swimmingly with the house. I'm so excited. I want to show it to everyone. But-- I'm also nervous and superstitious (or just a littlestitious) so I don't want people to look too much until I know it's mine. :) It's close to where my mom and dad got married. It's close to work. Close to everything. I'm happy. Katie has been adjusting well to staying at L's house, She lays down and goes to bed. I will admit she has been staying up a bit later than usual, she gets a lot more exercise at L's due to more people to play with, and lots more space and stairs. It's been nice being able to sleep in a bit, and we so far have the room to be in (AKA grand central station in my family) with our tv, computer, and the window ac unit we have as well. it's the coolest room in the house... in two ways LOL :) I feel like things are good. I feel good. Buoyant. Just so you know, we'll be moving Around August 28, so keep that in mind ;) Derringer Meryl [Brand New] Out 2008-08-04 - 4:37 p.m. What a weekend. Let's start with the awesome. We closed. HAHA, I bet you thought it was going to be about Breaking Dawn AHAHA I fooled you, didn't I? LOL. We've signed all the closing documents for our condo, and I'm quite giddy. Huzzah. We're still waiting for the buyer to finish signing all their docs, but we're so close I can lick it. LOL. I'll talk about Breaking Dawn at the end, since I don't know how to do spoiler tags... well let me test some before I post anything TOOO sensitive. LOL We moved, yes. Thank you to Jam Jam and his pal, and my Mother in Law, who helped A TON, and for Sukie and Wudan who called to see how they could help, but we'd all pretty much passed out for the evening at that point LOL. Thanks To Mom and Dad who came down and helped box things up BEFORE we closed, and thanks to everyone for their massive amounts of boxes, patience, and offers to watch the Katie Bug. :) It's a great feeling to know that we have family and friends to rely on. Keep in mind we'll be moving into our new home on August 28 (Oh it's our friend's Baby's Birthday!) Since like 2 of our friends are on the verge of popping with baby-ness, such people are excused from moving. Everyone else? I've got my eye on you... :) This next move will be much easier, since it'll pretty much just be the stuff from the storage unit, and a few things from L's house. We're quite pleased, and we hope that things go well with it. The house gives me SUCH a sense of peace that I'm so happy that we found it in time. I'm writing ANOTHER Blog. Not such a personal nature, It's a Video Game Blog. For Mom's. Well Parents. I'm trying to focus on how you can choose GOOD games for your kids, as well as relate and talk to your kids about video games. I feel super awkward doing it. I haven't been a mom long, but I have been playing video games for a long time, and talking about them for a shorter (but still a good amount) of time. I enjoy gaming. I enjoy being a mom. I don't see why the two can't coincide. Anyway. The link is here I'm trying to do a review a week. As you can see I've been failing miserably so far. So if you have a new game, I can play for a bit, Please let me know :) I want to play as much as I can... so I can review as much as possible. I'm going to talk about Breaking Dawn now. It's gonna be all... Stealthy b/c I know not everyone on the net has read it. Oh well LOL! Part of me found the book to be a bit too predictable. I wasn't on the edge of my seat. However at the same time... the book was good. The book was great. The book will be read again and again until my eyes fall out and my glasses break and I'll stand in the middle of the library and say "NOOOOOOO!" Also, I giggle a bit in my head because... EVEN BELLA has a C-section. That's right. You can be uppity about your easy vaginal births -- but vampires do it by C-section! :) Let's see... I liked Jacob a lot better once he eased off of Bella. I will be lobbying for the name Bella (Gabriella, Isabella, WHATEVER, I want a daughter named Bella. I'm sure Scott will say no, but you never know. :) And WTF about the name Reneesme. Or whatever. Um, NO. I didn't like it. It sounded awkward amid all the names in the book ... I was not pleased. Though-- I liked the nickname Nessie though I would not choose it for my child. I guess picking a name out in 3 weeks instead of 9 months... well makes things a bit off kilter. I"m glad Bella got to be a hero instead of the damsel in distress. I'm glad that she got what she wanted before becoming a vampire (wink wink, nudge nudge) I was quite pleased about that. I"m glad Stephenie was able to keep it tasteful, but still ... fun? Good? Uhhh... She explained what happened w/o making it slutty? All of the above. :) I give Breaking Dawn sixteen thumbs up, and two toes down. I didn't like Charlie finding out even PART of Bella's new life style. I"m glad that Bella was able to control herself from killing people. :) Ups and Downs. I was getting annoyed with the Jacob part of the book. I hate Jacob. He's a frustrating character. I think that's why the book at that part was hard for me, it didn't sound like any of the other books (From Bella's perspective) and felt awkward. But Jacob is a 16 year old boy in a 25 year old body, so I'd have to say that's the epitome of awkward. Anyway. Nothing too spoilerish. But great overall. :) Derringer Meryl [I <3 Stephenie Meyer] Out |
