2008-09-29 - 6:20 p.m. Are here again One of the things I want to emphasize to Katie is that 1- You should work to keep the things you have nice BUT at the same time things are things and can be replaced.
There are things in life that are just things (couches, carpet, clothes, etc) but there are things that are important and significant and should be respected... Scriptures, books (in general) computers, cars, walls, etc.
I remember when I was little (my mom is going to think I'm horrible for saying this) I can remember my mom telling us (like two million times) Not to eat in the basement, she wanted to keep the carpet nice. I know that at least once a day one of us kids ignored that rule. And trust me, we spilled stuff on the carpet. But You know what? Even though my mom had told us she wanted to keep it nice, she didn't freak out when we spilled on it. Yeah, it sucks that we spilled on the carpet, but it's no reason to have a brain aneurysm. There are things to be upset over (Someone breaking your never played copy of the Beatles single "I want to hold your hand" or the antique depression glass your mother cherished and passed on to you) things that CAN'T be replaced.... but at the same time, I'd throw away everything I had, if I had to choose between my family and my things. Family comes first. There's no point in making people feel bad over someTHING being ruined.
And yes, I am the little girl who broke the depression glass that her mother got from HER mother. Go me. :( But you know what, my mom still teases me about it, and even when I got a stern talking to about NOT opening the china hutch, I still knew my mom loved me, even though I'd messed up. (Oh and I did. What a kid I was. All about breaking irreplaceable items instead of anything else.)
Katie is finally getting her 12th tooth now. Her second bottom eye tooth. I'm glad. she's been a bit uneven for a while. Still more to come. I need to get her to a dentist, but It'll probably wait until next year. And then *sigh* there's Scott. He needs to get to an endocrinologist ASAP (he's overdue) and I... well i have appointments I need to make as well ;)
Ok.... So I realize it's just barely eeping into october here (Like... in two days) but I am already considering The Holiday Season. I am a planner. A budgeter. I am itching/dying/driving myself crazy to plan our Family Christmas party, however-- I am trying to calm my inner Type A and keep myself in line .... I can't plan everything always. I just can't. But it doesn't mean I can't itch to either. ;)
Oh well. I wanted to blog today. So I did...
Reading Twilight again. And I'm Sick. That's about it. ;)
Derringer Meryl [happy days] Out
2008-09-24 - 1:00 p.m. three times fast I mentioned to my boss the other day that I update like 6 times a day on my blog. She said I didn't either, that I do once a day. She's right, and I'm an over exaggerator.
Yesterday we were discussing Muffins, Diabetes, and their various implications on special events. Ok, I told the story about how when I went to the temple for the first time Scott ate a muffin, dosed too much insulin, and almost passed out. Kudos to the quick working Temple workers who hurried and got him some crackers and stuff. It certainly cut our trip short (Yes, this story is 4 years old. Bite me) Later I also decided to relate (for whatever reason... I can't remember why...) that liquor sales were up 50% in Utah, and blah blah blah. THey're building new stores and expanding lots of their stores too. Some wise ass decided to say "OH did you learn that in the Temple?" and I said "No I learned it on TV."
I realize touting facts about liquor sales isn't standard Molly Mormon practice, but who said I was shooting for the Molly Mormon of the Year award? In fact, it is my personal belief that we should learn all sorts of things while on earth. It's kind of the point, isn't it? Isn't that why the LDS church recommends continuing education? Because knowledge is a useful thing?! Well it just so happens I learned on TV that Utah is having record liquor sales and they are expanding their location. Also the TV taught me what the Doppler effect is. Take that Public education system!
I was playing with my hair this morning. I wish I could do something TOTALLY awesome with it. I'd love to have my hair done up really great. Which brings me to the thought that while other girls were wishing they were Hillary Duff or Lindsay Lohan (or some such rubbish, i was quite out of touch with my generation) i was wishing I looked like This. I should have been born earlier in the century. That's alright though, because I love all my modern conveniences. Plus I have a bit too much of a rebellious streak to be an adequately proper Edwardian girl. While trying to figure out what I wanted to do for halloween, i really would like to try to be a vampire from the twilight universe. No particular vampire. Just vampire esque. I thought to myself "Man I'm too fat to be a vampire" which I pointed out to Jen (my boss) and the following conversation ensued:
Meryl: Maybe I'll be a fat vampire for Halloween Jen: Ha!! Meryl: I keep thinking "That'd be easy", and then I think "Yeah, but you're fat. When was the last time you saw a fat vampire" and then I toss the whole Idea out the window Jen: Why should that matter Jen: not all vampires can be thin! Jen: Some are really hungrier than others Meryl: lol Meryl: I'll be Bertha The fat vampire. Jen: HA HA Meryl: lol
Yeah I'm some sort of racist or something when it comes to being fat. I think the name Bertha sounds like a fat name (i'm a jerk, admit it) and I'm quite sure that this is what i'll do. I can recycle the "Costume" for every day wear and also wear it to the Twilight release.
Want to see the shirt I want? Too bad it doesn't come in my size. I saw it and I thought "PERFECT!" and then I saw that apparently LB.com doesn't carry it in my size online. Jerks!
I hope I can find it in a store around here. I also hope when I do find it... that I'll have some money to buy it! LOL
OH BTW, They have Twilight shirts at torrid.com. Just saying. I <3 Torrid.com. I wish I could buy one right now. Oh well.
I found my twilight novels so my mom can read them finally. Since I won't see her until Sunday, I'm hoping to speed read through the first two and give them to her :D I still need to get Breaking Dawn back...
and YES I'M AWARE I'M A TWILIGHT NERD!! I'm aware you're sick of the hype (not just you Sukie, lots of people I know have said things, i'm just saying.) and i don't care. I like it, so there :P
Ok-- I didn't sew last night. I suck. I need to! I will soon. I just need to get my stuff together. And find a pair of speakers for the computer so i can have something playing on it while I sew. Set up my Card table... and get to work!
I need to find my rotary mat. I need to get in gear... Someone want to come kick my butt into gear for me?!
I have the RS presidency coming over tonight. As Scott and I talked last night to the Bishopric, I discovered not much has happened to me in my life that was noteworthy. I mean it feels like a lot of stuff, but you can condense it down to about 2 minutes of description. Born, Moved a bunch, Graduated, Went to a tiny portion of college, got married. Moved some more. Had a baby. Moved again.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH. And then they were like "Hobbies?" and I say "Uh. I don't play the piano. Don't be fooled by the piano I have sitting in my front room. Yep. I sing. I write. I sew and quilt." I felt like an ass. When was the last time I did any of those things. I haven't sang since high school, writing I do here, and at home once in a long while, but none of it literary, and Sewing. I guess I did a bit earlier this year. I still felt like a freak. No hobbies or anything. Nothing. I think I mentioned reading. Maybe. The Truth is, I don't read a lot. Nothing much interests me. Before twilight I read Harry potter... and before that. Um. I guess I tried reading The Poisonwood Bible. Not much catches my attention for very long. I did listen to a lot of Scott's Books on Tape for the Wheel of Time Series. I am not by far any expert in that respect, I don't know what happens or anything. I mostly know about the characters I enjoy photography, though I'm no good at it. I socialize. I enjoy talking (what kind of hobby is that?) I get home too late to do much of anything. My weekends are for family. I suppose I could have mentioned my love of all things Japanese. However usually when I say "OH, i like anime" people scrunch their nose up because anime = porn (IT'S TRUE) When really when I say I like anime I mean some of the best literary/televison work I've seen in ages. Also, I considered wearing a kimono for my wedding. Though I don't think many people know that. I walked through Harmons the other day and ACTUALLY considered picking up sushi, but I figured I better not because wouldn't it make more sense to go somewhere that prepares sushi authentically if I actually want to like it. I decided yes. Maybe I'll have to take Sukie and Lil Sis and head out somewhere to get some. Maybe the Happy Sumo. Maybe a girls night out for those girls who like/want to try sushi. Although I bet Scott would want to go... Hmm. Maybe just a fun night of sushi.
To go along with my goal of trying new things ;) Sushi. That's my next acquisition.
Taken a whole HOUR writing this, guess I better say-- all done for now!
Derringer Meryl [Sushi Sushi Sushi]Out
2008-09-23 - 12:20 p.m. lack of sense
How true.
I really would love this shirt, however it directly violates my baggy shirt policy. *sigh* I would buy the baby doll of it (That is to say a women's shirt) however it only goes to "XL" and there is no sizing guide to tell me WTH XL means. Cause honestly if XL equals out to my size, then sweet, however It's been my experience that i am NOT an XL. LOL.
I need to get in gear on my quilts. Tonight is the night. I will sew tonight! I swear it!
My To Do list:
That one Thing Bunny Quilt Monkey quilt Video Game Quilt Katie's Big Girl Quilt
I super need to get on the top one. I need to make sure my pieces are squared, and lay it out and get to work. I have a few things I need to do tonight. Saturday is my Brother in Law's 15th birthday, so I"ll be working on that. Hopefully I can make it up to SLC to have my mom help me with the project. I have until Christmas ;) to get it done. So I better get on the ball!
I've been trying to decide what to make Katie for halloween. Scott would really like for us all to go as matching characters from Bleach... with Katie as Kon However that'd involve her wearing a hat, and I don't see that happening. My mom wants to make her a happi Coat. She carefully unpicked my father in law's coat from when he was a child and she's planning on making a pattern from it, and making Katie a matching one. I'm quite happy about it. I hope we're able to do that soon. I could also easily do Little Bo Peep, because I have an adorable dress from when I was a kid, that has a apron and dress, and little pantaloons. I love it. She's adorable in it. :D
We'll be meeting with our bishopric tonight. I'm kinda nervous, and excited. In case you don't know... which I'm sure you do. I love talking about myself. So I'm excited at the prospect of speaking in church. Scott is not so much. He always says I worry too much and have DUMB anxieties and stuff. I agree, but I'm not afraid of public speaking. it's a ridiculous fear. I don't understand it. I get nervous about speaking, for about 5 minutes, and then I think about the last time I spoke and remember that NO One is paying attention. And if they are, I'm fairly sure they're really covert about it. LOL
Then wednesday our relief Society Presidency will be coming over. WHOO. I'm nervous! LOL :D
Derringer Meryl [nonsense] Out
2008-09-22 - 5:37 p.m. doorbell Let me assuage any fears you all might have... Scott and I are fine. My past blogs reminiscing about exes or past crushes are not forlorn rememberings, but more like... an appreciation for where I am now. Scott and I as teens, both of us, sincerely thought we were not going to get married. I find that a bit laughable on Scott's part (as did Scott's mom she thought it was downright ludicrous) as he had several girlfriends, and lots of dates. Where i had several of dates, and no boyfriends... well, it depends on your definition of boyfriend... anyway. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking that crazy stuff can't happen without having a boyfriend. LOTS of crazy stuff happened to me. LOTS. And some of them involving boys. Although not in the "CRAZY" kind of way... Ugh I give up, and I'm digressing.
Anyway. Scott and I are great. I was trying to dissect and understand, as best I can, what was going on when I all of the sudden got married out of the blue. And i do say out of the blue as I had only been dating my 'current-at-that-particular-time-boyfriend' for like four weeks, and i wasn't terribly interested (no offense to him intended at all) I was horribly stuck on my prior boyfriend... who I (like all former conquests) was trying hard to sort out my feelings. In any case. in the period of about.... 27 days, we went from not knowing each other at all, to being engaged. ;) Which means from School starting that year on Jan 5, I got over my ex ...seems like a friday, probably Jan 23.
I could pull out my journals and know for sure. I know it was snowy, and I felt at peace.
I guess the point I'm making-- is that God prepares you for things. You just do what you need to (Ms. DQ i'm talking to you) get your priorities in line, do what's right, and you endure. God will provide.
*coughs* Enough of that.
Scott installed a new light in Katie's room, and a new toilet in our bathroom. What a man! *swoon* i'm super impressed. I love it! When I get home, we're going to do something totally awesome for our night together. Scott and I often treat Monday Evenings a bit more like Saturday's :) Time together! It's happy!
anyway... off to play solitaire, and listen to white stripes
Derringer Meryl [Full Time! WHoo.]
2008-09-19 - 1:50 p.m. may have to resize OK, super sweet cute pics as promised!
Enjoy!
Derringer Meryl [Katie Update]
2008-09-19 - 12:30 p.m. autumn I sit next to the window at work. i love that. I can see the leaves changing colors in the mountains, and it's awesome. I can see the clouds as I listen to my MP3 player... reminiscing.
Scott and I discussed (when I originally got my MP3 player) how we organize music differently. I organize by mood. Currently I am listening to music that reminds me of Scott. Scott and I's special music.
Which is ironic that is has this song on it:
Mostly because I never ever listened to Our Lady Peace until I turned 17 and had a crush on the assistant manager I worked with that year. A crush that persisted for... years. He was (and is, I have talked to him within the last year) a good man. With many favorable attributes. My favorite (which is also something that I love about Scott) is the fact that I never had to be anyone else but myself around him. He is agnostic and was also a debater when he was in high school... and he didn't mind that I believed in God. He was comfortable with who I was, and he didn't censor himself around me, and I didn't have to censor myself around him. Even though we never ever dated (ever, i was the same age as his sister, so my feelings for him even after they were expressed... were all one sided.) he helped me understand the good things about him that I wanted and needed in a husband.
I strived, in all my endeavors, to learn from my mistakes. Each relationship I encountered taught me something. That I wanted a funny man, who didn't feel the need to make me the butt of his jokes. Someone who thought I was beautiful all the time. Someone who thought about me when I was gone. A sweet man. Someone who would stand up for me when i couldn't, took care of me when i was down, loved me the way I was. Someone who I could be myself with.
....
There's a bush out the window from me, that is weirdly shaped like a heart. Some days I wonder if it formed the shape on it's own... or if someone did it. Seems like an awful lot of work for someone to go to the trouble.
I am hoping to get a bit of shopping done this weekend. some fabric for a project of mine, and maybe some warmer PJ's for Katie... I need to clean around the house fiercely. Still need to unpack so I can find my Twilight Saga novels. I'm going to let my mother read them, and then I'm going to read them again. And probably once more.
Some people might read her novels and say "Oh what's so special?" and others might just be embarrassed that they're even reading a vampire love story. I am not one of those people.
I was trying to wait for my pictures from my phone to come through, but it's just taking too dang long! So i'm just going to have to post them later....
be sure to check back, they are ADORABLE ;)
Derringer Meryl [loving the clouds] Out
2008-09-18 - 9:56 a.m. recap Happy 1002th post. :) yay.
I just wanted to put this up here real fast... because I have lately been reminiscing about my past. Sometimes I like to think about when I was in college, and I would Sit in our cafeteria Staring out the window to the main office building ... because that's where my ... ex-boyfriend? We didn't really date. We hung out. We were never serious... so... maybe ex romantic interest would be better?
It's not entirely important to understand his side of the relationship so much as it is to understand mine. I learned at a young age with complete assurance, that it is completely possible to fall in love completely with someone who only has a minor interest (if any at all) with you. I would have to say being honest with your emotions in such a manner is more painful than anything else I can think of. I seemed to have a knack for picking out people who didn't ... who weren't able to love me back. For whatever reason. Oh and trust me, In my short dating years, I heard a menagerie of reasons.
But as I sat there, staring out the window over the snow and the salted sidewalks, trying to determine if I would go and see if he was in his office (Even though i was dating someone else at the time. I admit handily I was using him as place holder, so I wouldn't be lonely. I was 19, and awful.) I remember just wishing a little that someone could love me as much as I loved them. Anyone. I can't remember clearly if I cried or not. part of me assures myself I did. At least a little. I remember trying to work out my psychological hypothesis of how love works in my journals. I figured there must be some sort of rhyme or reason to it. Some people might be thinking that really there isn't. But for me, as I sat there, watching students walk to and fro, from class to class, my heart breaking for the 20th time that morning... It came to me. As much as I wanted him to love me.... I should want him to be happy if I loved him. I searched my mind for the truth of it. It reverberated with me. I wanted him to be happy with whom ever he so chose. Even if it wasn't me. No matter... I wanted him to be happy, because I loved him. And it occurred to me as well that the love that resonated so deeply within me was not romantic love. We were friends. And despite the fact that we had (indeed) broken off (This is going to sound insane) our romantic relationship Six months prior... yes, I'm aware I'm psychotic, let's move on
I sat there and I thought that I would be free for a while. I wanted to experience this new feeling. I had been broken up with, and it felt, ok, for once. I chose not to call the guy I was dating-- and felt ok being alone.
Two weeks later I met Scott.
It felt right, that three weeks later we were engaged. Life has been good to me. I spent a lot of time figuring things out inside of my head. How I worked. In fact, I would say at least from the age of 17-19, I journaled every day, I worked through anger, and frustration privately in my head. I Did my best to feel every emotion. I stopped taking my depression medication (though upon reading my past journals, that was hard for me, but I feel worth it!)
Everyone says that High School and being young is a time to get to know yourself... I'm gald I was able to.
Derringer Meryl [getting to know you] Out
2008-09-17 - 10:43 a.m. Fan Girl Ahoy I successfully wrote a poem yesterday. I was even the slightest bit satisfied with it. It felt good. Kinda like... when you're carrying something heavy and someone takes a bit of your load off... that's what it felt like.
I'm not ready to post it here though. I'm not ready to expose myself like that. It is on the net... but privately.
Today I'm feeling a bit hollowed out. Which i would have to say is an ODD sensation.
I suppose I should mention we got a dog. I have a picture of her around somewhere....
That is our Dog Bella. She's just a puppy, and they are fairly sure that the dad dog is a husky so she'll be medium sized. She has huge paws. She's Beagle mostly. She can be real sweet if she calms down. Katie loves her... And the both love the backyard. I don't mind dogs usually (if they are quiet and stuff) but I HATE what dogs do to Yards! I have a nice yard (thanks to our prior owners) and a nice garden. And I want to keep it that way. So hopefully it does stay that way. Scott has been excellent at taking care of her. Which is good, because I downright refuse to. I let her in the house in the mornings for about 10 minutes, and back out she goes. I do my best though to make sure Katie is dressed and ready to play as soon as we get up in the morning. Bella is really poor at not jumping up on Katie, so Katie gets knocked down a lot. And being a puppy she has lots of playful aggression.... which she decided was a good idea to take out on myself and Katie one night. I was NOT pleased at all. She bit Katie's arm (in a playful fashion and clawed me up, and bit me all over. :P Puppies are no where as cute as Kittens. I'm giving her a week to Mellow out. She's pretty good about not whining at night, but She's a whiner in the mornings.
I bought myself something last night. I know, that probably sounds weird, but I don't buy myself stuff on impulse too often, but I saw it... and I like this style of jewelry, and I like Twilight Stuff (I'm such a fan girl)
Isn't it beautiful?! I love it. I want to get a pretty victorian-esque shirt to wear with it to the release, and do something Victorian-ish with my hair. I'm sure Drama Queen (who is AWESOME) can help with that! Although, I have to wonder how I"m going to go to a midnight release .... I need to find someone who doesn't like twilight to watch Katie!
I think I'm going to go look at Victorian hairdo's....
Derringer Meryl [SMeyers.... I love you.] Out
2008-09-15 - 12:17 p.m. you cant hurt me Politics drive me crazy. CARAZY! And not in a "I'm gonna slash prices because I'm so insane!" crazy kind of way .... more of a "If I have to hear ONE MORE THING about politics or any political issues, I might slice your tongue out of your face" kind of way.
Mostly I hate it because everyone sits around calling each other stupid. It's all quite Jr. High and I didn't like Junior High when I was there, why the hell should I live amidst it every 4 years? UGH!!
In other news...
I was sitting at church the other day having a horribly ADD moment listening to the woman behind me complain to one of her friends about someone who didn't like her and she said the following: "She was just poisonous to me. I don't see why I should be around someone like that, I don't need that kind of stuff." and the whole statement reverberated with me. I felt like struck like a tuning fork. I've said such things, A LOT. I have people in my life, who on occasion are venomous and mean. The logical thing to do would be to walk away and never come back. Right? I mean seriously. If you get bit by a snake and it's painful, and possibly deadly, why (short of being a Crocodile Hunter-esque person) would you keep putting yourself back there to be hurt and to be in pain? It's a retarded thing to do.
But as she said the statement "I don't need that kind of stuff." my immediate thought was Maybe you don't need it, maybe she needs you? and I felt immediately guilty (my favorite emotion) for all the times I had said it. I don't need the bad way people make me feel, sure-- but maybe they need me. And not in a "I need you so I have someone to kick around and be abused so I don't do it to the people I like" kind of way. I don't think it's right to put yourself in an abusive situation. It kinda got to me though, that maybe-- people who are mean just need someone. I'm going to do my best to just say...
That it's ok.
Derringer Meryl [Ok, Alright] Out
2008-09-12 - 3:28 p.m. surrogacy Some of you might know/remember that I frequent a mommy board. I found this mommy board after my miscarriage, and really, it helped me through some dark times...
The Admin there recently became pregnant as a surrogate. It's amazing! I love reading her blog and think it's beautiful, and amazing.
I don't think I've mentioned it here before... But I have toyed with the idea of gestational surrogacy myself. I was seriously considering it, until I happened upon a website that explained that the church discourages surrogacy. Which made me severely depressed. They encourage adoption. Which is an excellent option. There are many children in the world who need loving homes. I understand why it is so hard to adopt! but it seems so heartbreaking to put people who have gone through all of these agonizing emotions of not being able to conceive on their own... to put them through all the hoops and what not to maybe possibly get a child if the country they're adopting from is amicable, or if adopting from the US, if the mother doesn't change her mind.
it seems like a big heart break.
Anyway. Listen to the above song. Be ready to cry, I very nearly did. I only didn't because I got a call at work right in the middle of listening to it.
Derringer Meryl [I would Die for that] Out
2008-09-09 - 11:32 a.m. party over here I started this photo blog yesterday... but didn't finish. LOL.
First, before I start though, all pics have been taken with my cell phone. Yeah, they're crappy, and I'm sorry. But I enjoy taking pictures, as crappy as they are. LOL.
Here Drama Queen is telling about her dream where she's pregnant and her brother hacks into a homeless woman's head. To be fair, the homeless woman was doing home invasion. And it was a dream. More Story here. This is right before we had her cake. I didn't switch over to video fast enough for Happy Birthday, but... Oh well. Someone is making a witty comment, DQ burst into Giggles immediately after. Her cake. :) Ice Cream, of course. It was VERY yummy. I am glad it's in my freezer. I like to eat. Too much! After that I retired my camera for the day, and saved my picture taking "skills" for Frik's party the next day. OK the crazy thing about this picture is that Katie BEGGED to get into the port-a-crib with Squirt. Odd? yes. She also has entered a completely whacko jealous phase where I am not allowed to hold babies or anything like that. Also she won't share toys. And she's clingy... I sure hope this is normal. Katie, Carebear, and Uncle Jam Jam. It's his birthday later this month! ;) I love Katie's expression here (even though you can't see it super well) she's giddy to be on Carebear's shoulder's. I debated putting this one up, but I am, because Katie is so silly in it, and Carebear is giving such an earnest expression, but Katie is having NONE of it. LOL. Ahh my baby. In these pics, she is wearing all second hand clothes. I pride myself on her second hand clothing. :D The jeans though are size 12m and the top is 2T, so how does that work? I think she works out to be 18m, because the top is a bit big, and the bottoms are a bit tight. LOL.
A friend of mine on facebook wrote a note about the "dating game" as he is still single and he wanted to express his exasperation at how doing something 'wrong' could set you back to the point where you have to start all over. All you need to do is read my past posts to know that I understand this concept quite clearly, and at the same time realize that any sort of 'game' you're playing is just setting you up for failure. Being coy is a recipe for disaster, and putting up a face, is completely useless. You're just going to set yourself back, and as someone (The Mouth actually) said to me about my whinings about relationships that didn't work... The thing that all of your failed relationships have in common is you.
And it was true!
I remember when I was dating Scott, I kept telling myself to hold it together. I had spotted that in my relationships I hit a certain place and shook apart and became clingy and obsessed and all together unattractive. I spent a lot of time as a teen finding the parts of me I didn't like (emotionally anyway) and picking at them until I couldn't pick any more, and then got back on my relationship bike and drove myself straight into another proverbial car (if you know my history on bikes... that'll make sense to you.) As my therapist at the time said, I was very introspective. I spent a lot of time in my head. A little too in my head to realize the automated mess the outside of me had become. (not to say I didn't improve myself by being inside there, I repaired a lot of broken things and found a lot out about myself by spending time inside my own head. I feel fortunate that I had the time and ability to do so.) So when I dated Scott, I denied myself the insane indulgences that usually lead me down the slippery slope of insanity and clingy-ness. I did not imagine the future. I did not think of how his last name sounded with mine or what initials I would have. I refused to think of us as married or even in a committed relationship. We were not. We were dating. I held it together. Though at some point after Scott and I were engaged, I felt like (at least a bit) I was faking myself and I thought I should let him know-- I was insane. Ahh correction, that I am insane. I am. I told him like at least 20 times a day, that I have severe neurosis. That I worry ... a lot. In fact the word worry in the dictionary has my picture next to it. I also told him about other things about me -- that are scary. He did not run away. I think though that he underestimated my neurosis. Now every time he gets exasperated about my intense worrying (usually about something completely nonsensical) he gets frustrated. But I tell him that I warned him I was insane, but he didn't listen!
Scott and I were always honest with each other as we dated. There was no game, there were no hoops. It was just honesty. I'm grateful for that.
Life in our new house is good. Still need to unpack a lot of stuff. I need to purge some of my stuff too. :P I swear I'll start working on that ASAP. Maybe this weekend?
Isn't it beautiful?! I love it. I want to get a pretty victorian-esque shirt to wear with it to the release, and do something Victorian-ish with my hair. I'm sure Drama Queen (who is AWESOME) can help with that! Although, I have to wonder how I"m going to go to a midnight release .... I need to find someone who doesn't like twilight to watch Katie! 
