2008-02-26 - 11:37 a.m.
last for feb maybe
First, in not so boring news:
Katie is 20lbs, and 28 inches tall (almost 29!) and she's doing well. She loves tomatoes and green beans, potatoes and carrots. (also peas!) she got a shot today and didn't even cry, but she was very afraid of the doctor and wanted to nurse while we were waiting for him.
In Other news: (Slightly more... boring)
We have paid of Scott's car, and Rc willey. I want to throw a party I'm so excited! Also, we are putting some cash into improvements for our house. A new (power saving) thermostat and new blinds for the rest of the windows (We got new blinds for one window last year, due to our dumb cats eating the last one.) I am super enthused. I also have started making purchases for Katie's B-day. In addition to the two toys we've bought, I got her a cute outfit from Carters that has smocking detail (which dings in my brain that I was going to google smocking and see if I can practice it...) and is super cute. Scott is skeptical as to if she will fit into it by her birthday (it's 18 months) as she's only on the cusp of 12 month clothing right now. However, at the end of November she was on the cusp of 9 month clothing, so i think we should be ok.. Hopefully :D I plan on going back next month wtih a coupon and (HOPEFULLY) getting the matching Dolly for Katie :)
I also got my Sewing Machine this weekend and it does 58 stitches and has been fairly easy to use so far. I need to get rid of my old machine. Luckily my old bobbins fit into the new machine. I don't trust those plastic-y ones. They look like pure shite. *Coughs* I'm excited to finish up my monkey quit, and my bunny quilt. Once I get the bunny one done, I'll post pictures. it has a backing (unlike my monkey one. I still need to get backing... Hey mom, you want to make a trip to Quilts Quilts Quilts on the 15th? we'll also hit up carters :))
I want to get some excentric fabric and put Katie in them. i think kids in funny fabrics are fun. Maybe I'll make our friend's little girl a little sun dress too. I'm so... excited about my machine! You'd think I wasn't by the fact that I've not done any work yet... but I need to fix Scott's pants first and for most, and that's not to thrilling. Also I'm scared I'll break my new machine on dumb pants. :P Carebear and I broke like 4 needles on a pair of jeans once. :P although we were going through like four layers of fabric.. thanks to the seams. But I shouldn't be going over any seams.... Maybe I'll do it tonight.
I want to sew katie a little ruffle dress. Mom gave me some practice fabric, I think there's enough to sew a little ruffle dress and to sew a little sun dress too. Maybe I can practice a pillow case dress? I was thinking I might do one of those for Katie as well. I can embelish it with extra scraps I have about the house. Maybe some left over monkey fabric? Sounds good to me!
Ok, I'm done geeking out about my fabric and new machine :D
Derringer Meryl [All Over The Place] Out
2008-02-20 - 11:58 a.m.
Spew for Feb
First and Foremost--
The Police are coming. No not the civil authorities... I mean the band. With Sting and everything. I Love The Police, lots and lots, and then lots more than that.
They are coming in July. I am enthused, and Hope to get tickets when they go on sale this weekend. Huzzah!
The weekend was well. Katie got a new carseat (how exciting!) I got a Hello Kitty Diaper bag, Scott got me 283 pictures of katie, which some of them have been framed and hung in our house. I love it. The remaining pictures are on my desk at the moment waiting to be put into a photo book. I might have to buy another photo book, I'll see once I'm done with this one. I got the backing for my VG shirt. I love it. It says "Nerds Rule!" YAY! they do! I'm still looking for hello Kitty fabric. I want something perfect for Katie's Birthday. :) what can I say, I'm never completely satisfied. I'm also looking for hello kitty ribbon, as I'm considering making a pillow case dress, I think it'd be cute for her to wear, but I'm not completely sure what i'm doing yet. I should really get my act together, so I can figure it all out. :)
Sunday was the baby blessing, It was wonderful. Scott hadn't been feeling well over the weekend, so we went home fairly quickly, we really didn't want anyone else to get what he had, especially the Little One. So we chatted for a bit, which was longer than we'd planned on staying over all, and cut and run. Scott had been feverish and icky, I certainly don't wish that on anyone else. I'm hoping I don't get it.
OH! and Scott and I saw Definitely Maybe. It's very cute. the first five minutes (maybe 10) are kinda jaw dropping, but after that, it's adorable. I loved it. I will own it. :) YAY!
Saturday was also Scott and I's 4 year anniversary. Four Years since we first met. It seems like it's been forever since we met, but not a bad forever, and I certainly wouldn't change anything about it. I'm so lucky to have him, and love him so much.
Monday was president's day-- It was a fun day of shopping for me. Scott played magic with his friends, I figure it was a good trade off, Normally he's at home with Katie all day, So I got Scott all Saturday, and He got to play games with his friends on Monday... and I got to hang out with a few of mine. We finished up Instant Star Season 3 (yay!) and watched Waitress (which I've seen three times now :)) I would have loved for it to have run longer, but Heather had work the next day, so she had to Skedaddle. Oh well. :) We had fun at the mall and at Mi Rancheto. I was happy.
Hopefully On Saturday I can go and get a new Sewing Machine. I'd like to take my mom and Dad with me, because they know SO much more than I do. I've learned one thing so far. I dont' want a Singer. While the old metal singers were great, and fantastic, the new plastic ones are horrible. Every part in them is plastic and the break easily. If nothing else, I'd kind of like to go to Carter's on Saturday with my Mom and look at Katie clothes. *shifty eyes* I am hankerin' for some Carter's shopping :) I found some Cute Dresses from Carter's on Monday while at Mervyns... however Katie is TOO big for them.
I thought about buying them anyway and just saving them for my next baby. :( Then i thought "I'll probably be having a boy" So I didn't get any of them. For the best I'm sure.
In Katie News, She can now say Hi, Crawl really fast (not super fast, just very efficiently) and she can say Kitty. Scott is also fairly sure she can say No. (IE No Kitty?) She's just busting out all over. I miss my tiny baby, but I'm super proud of all the milestones she's hitting! Maybe next stop is UPPER teeth?
Derringer Meryl [Mommy Extraordinaire] Out
2008-02-13 - 10:07 a.m.
ups downs round and round
A lot of my life I've had people telling me two things:
A) Grow up.
B) Get Over it.
I have made efforts in the past years (especially since my marriage and even more so since my miscarriage) to put my big girl panties on and sit down, shut up, and let things slide. After all someone once told me "Choose your Battles."
I try to.
I also feel that in every person's life there comes a time to either let something happen to them, or to stand up and say "No." The decision can be life altering. Sometimes it's just a little victory. We can't all be Rosa Parks, after all. (Hey it's February and Black History Month.) So it's time, I feel to say no. In a world and a life filled with yes, I'm saying no. And the feeling I'm feeling now I can only assume feels like falling off the building, so I'm trying to enjoy the fall and not think about the splat.
I'd like to make a public apology as well though-- I do have somewhat of a temper, and from time to time I also have some serious jealousy problems. Sometimes I say things I don't really mean, just because I'm venting. That doesn't make it ok-- I just wish it would make it understandable. I highly doubt I'm the first person to do this, and I can't promise that I'll never say something in the heat of the moment again. But I promise I'll try to be better. I'd like to think we all understand human weakness and the pain of a human heart. I'll submit this much. I am sorry for the things I've said that may have hurt any of you.
I suppose it doesn't matter much if anyone accepts my apology. I cannot fret about what other people do. I can only control what I do. So I have apologized. I cannot make others accept. I can though, move on with my life in a timely manner to have fun.
Moving on Indeed.
Katie is a bit of a speed demon now with the crawling. Ok so she's not SUPER fast, but she can get where she wants in a timely manner. Sometime we'll have to baby proof, it's quite difficult with our schedules. I do try to vacuum with the small one each day... We'll be needing to fine tooth comb it some more soon though. Make sure we get plug stoppers in the outlets, gotta get drawer stoppers and cabinet closers. Also Scott and I need to get a circular gate for around the Kitty litter and Kitty food. To Keep Katie out.
Miss Kate had a fever yesterday and today. Around 101 with a sniffly nose. I felt bad that I wasn't home taking care of her, but Scott did a champion job. :) Also, I was really proud that I stayed at work. :) she was cuddly and sleepy when i got home... she slept from her normal sleeping time until 4am, when Scott went to check her fever and found that she was awake crawling around in her crib... Scott told me she laid down and pretended like she was asleep when she saw him. LOL. Silly Baby. She came into bed with us, we gave her some IBprofin, and I gave her some nasal drops (she was stuffed up) and she went to bed with us. (What a restful nights sleep that was.)
As some of you might know, this Saturday is 3 years since Scott's Dad died. I know that since Scott and I had Katie, he's missed his Dad even more. I miss him too, but I don't think it could ever compare... I miss him most when I'm in a Jam. He always had such good level headed advice. He stood up for his family, and loved them all very much. I often talk to Katie about him and how wonderful he was. I'm sure Scott does too. I've also gained an obsession with Owls. I feel like, if I have owl stuff around I can tell Katie about how her Grandpa loved owls, and I want to talk about him often, so that even if he's not here... She can still know how wonderful he was. :)
We Miss you Dave.
Derringer Meryl [emotion packed week] Out
2008-02-08 - 3:14 p.m.
I could go on
I thought I'd post and say that the previous blog wasn't about anyone in particular besides me. Inside every victim is someone who is allowing the action to happen. That's all I was saying. I permit people to treat me poorly because on some level I enjoy it. I equate abuse with love.
Now I know I'm being used
But that's okay man cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
But that's okay cause I've got no self esteem
Gosh I'm a downer. :)
Katie is crawling now. She crawled to me in the kitchen today while I was stacking the dishwasher. well mostly to me. It was pretty far, and considering she has a hard time on the tile, I was rather impressed.
I can't force people to like me, Can't force them to love me. I am human. I make mistakes. I make bad choices. I try to be loving. I try to forgive.
Maybe I'm just inherently bad.
Derringer Meryl [Oh well whatever, nevermind]
2008-02-04 - 6:28 p.m.
feb2008
Welcome to February.
Nothing spectacular about the weekend. Nothing of note. Scott's Sister became an adult, I did some soul searching, and a lot of thinking. I do that a lot at work as I stare at the computer screen trying to figure out people's problems as they call in. It can be a bit overwhelming sometimes, and at the same time-- it can be lots of fun.
We saw Juno. I recommend it highly. It delves into several issues, which I find very interesting. It was hilariously written, and I also enjoy learning about people different from me. Some people might dispute that fact-- but They can suck on a rock. I do. So there.
I've been listening to that Ludo song and I still loves it. I like to listen to songs over and over and over and over again until the song becomes annoying to me, but that hasn't happened yet. Songs are like therapy for me. In their lyrical genius i can often find insight to the deepest parts of my psyche.
I think I know why people always treat me like a kid, and disrespect me and kind of ignore me and my opinion. Despite the fact that it frustrates me, some level of my brain likes to be abused. It's like I wear it like a badge of honor. At what point does the right thing to do become wrong? it's right to be nice to people, even if they aren't nice to you-- but... well-- when do you stop letting them be mean to you? I don't think I have that point in my brain. I don't think it exists. I let my former employers abuse me, I let so called friends abuse me, and family, and ... I often apologize for it. I realized this also while looking at the bruises that mysteriously appeared on my arms (no, i don't mean "mysteriously" i've got freakin' bruises all over, and I have NO idea where they came from) and I think about the way I talk about Scott sometimes and I am afraid that people think that Scott abuses me (in any form of abuse as a word) and he doesn't. He treats me so well, all of the time. He's a great father and Husband-- and if you hear me saying other wise (ever) i'm spewing BS and probably should be told so. *blinks* definitely should be told so. Sometimes I find myself saying "Scott says I can do this...." which makes it sound like he controls what I do. I think I keep myself under a tight leash thinking that that's how a married woman should behave. Self denial, and keeping up on the housework... I am my own controlling spouse, I guess is what I'm saying. For most people the solution with a controlling spouse is to leave them... how am I supposed to leave myself? How odd.
I do let other people treat me poorly, I think it's because I treat myself poorly so they think they can get away with it. No amount of standing up for ones self will help that, IMO anyway. I wish I knew how to make it better. to make the disconnect between my emotions and my actions connect again. I really should probably go back to therapy for a while, and sort some stuff out. that's for people with money that I don't have.
In other news, I have many grand plans for sewing. I got the material for Katie's Birthday dress already. I need to find a pattern w/o buttons. I can't sew buttons (I can sew them on, but making the holes is my issue.) I'm very excited to find a good pattern and to start work :) I need to finish the monkey quilt I have, which I think will go into storage until I find a home for it. Maybe I can tie it tightly and sell it online? I think it's cute... :) If I made enough on it, I could buy more fabric and start all over. :)
Gonna go Surf Ebay
Derringer Meryl [oddness] Out
