2008-01-29 - 10:30 a.m.
truck rant
I'm just gonna take a running jump out of my safety zone and say....
I HATE TRUCKS that's right, You heard me. Trucks usually are tailgating me on icy roads, they have those GD lights that shine RIGHT into your eyes because I'm in a regular car, not a truck. I especially hate trucks that the owner has jacked up the truck so there is a foot or more of space between the wheel and the wheel well. HATE IT.
Most (not all by any means) truck drivers are jerks. As fore mentioned they often tailgate me... THEN, the other day a SEMI tried to pretend it was a Festiva and squeeze in before me (who had the right of way) while getting onto an on ramp for the free way. I said to myself "HELLS NO!" and gunned it. Sure the responsible me was sitting there looking all pale as a sheet gripping the crazy bar on the passenger side-- but, I was super sick of being cut off, and this was the SECOND TIME this had happened during that particular week.... (For those of you reading in the area, it was the northbound on ramp on 1600 N, he was crossing traffic to get on, I was flowing with the traffic (you know, that traffic he was trying to cross) He ended up getting halfway onto the on ramp, and having to stop and block all westbound traffic because he tried to turn when he shouldn't have. :P
I realize truck drivers have no control over the fact that their car was manufactured to shine their lights STRAIGHT into regular drivers eyes (via several mirrors) BUT DANG, they do have control over getting right up on my bumper and flashing their brights at me (this has also happened before.)
And then some intelligent MINI truck driver (as in one of those small trucks you see skidding all around on icy roads) decided when he was heading westbound on 8th North last night that he really needed to turn southbound at a light where YOU CANT TURN SOUTH (due to construction) so here I am (in awful snow) driving (about 3 or more car lengths behind him) and he decides to slam on his breaks and turn. So I consequently have to slam on mybreaks... as you can imagine I start to slide. A lot. So I lay on the horn. Not to be rude (at first) but to warn the driver of the impending car accident due to his retardedness. Luckily the car turned before I smacked into him. I broke my cardinal rule of driving though-- I gave him the bird. I know I KNOW I'm usually so much better than that-- but I still did it, because-- Well-- I was mad, and he was endangering my life and his by sitting there to turn. JERK!
:P
I hate trucks. The end.
Derringer Meryl [Canyonero! Yeehaw!] Out
2008-01-24 - 5:23 p.m.
since saturday
if you can, listen to Xposed in the evening at 96.3, they have AMAZING music.
Like...
Ludo - Love Me Dead
Seriously, look it up on Youtube, it's one of the best songs EVER. Funny, lighthearted, and violent.
Life is uneventful. I'm not feeling deep tonight. Just love that song. :)
Don't forget-- i probably love you-- but I'm not afraid to vomit on you too.
Derringer Meryl [random] Out
2008-01-18 - 5:43 p.m.
drama free zone
I listen to my youtube playlists almost all day. lately I have been listening to BNL (and by lately I mean since before Christmas, and I still am) I love the song Wind it up-- but my blog today is about another one of their songs, because I find that it's me all over. It always has been.
When I went through a severe bout of depression in High School i told myself that I wasn't going to fake it so that people would like me. I was tired of being an actress who everyone loved, but no one knew. It was exhausting playing the part of devoted daughter, excellent student, happy child, over all a mentally well person. Forcing myself into this role made myself a mentally unwell person. (I wasn't crazy, persay, just a little unwell. ;)
In a book in a box high up on a shelf
In a locked and guarded vault
Are the things I keep only for myself
It's your fate, but it's not your fault
I vowed to no longer pretend just to make someone happy. I shouldn't be someone else just because I want to make them comfortable. What about me? However there comes a time in someones life that you can't just spurt out whatever you what whenever you want it. You have to show restraint. When should you say yes and when should you say no, to yourself?
And for every useless reason I know
There's a reason not to care
If I hide myself wherever I go
Am I ever really there?
But what does it matter if you're silent so that someone will like you-- when you're silent and give a false impression of who you are. Who do they like then?
Some days I feel like I'm trying to be a stunning personality that I'm not. I'm clever and funny. Really I just wish people would like who I am. Then again, who am I if not defined by those i am with? While technically true-- who I am with defines me, and how I act accordingly-- I am fundamentally the same. I am a woman. I have feelings-- I will not suppress them so as to NOT make a scene. I am tired. I am worn. I am fed up with being around people who are allowed to say WHATEVER they feel like because i'm just supposed to shut up and accept it, because what i say is wrong, and I'm a dumb little girl, who is selfish and throws a fit.
I wish people would listen to WHAT I'm saying not who is saying it.
Stop trying to crawl around in my head -- you dont' belong there, and YOU DON'T know me. You don't know what I like or dislike, what I do in my spare time, or who my love lies with.
The Specialist said a month or so ago that he was tired of putting his trust into people when they only disappoint him.
So am I.
I am tired of biding my time, watching my mouth, and hoping it'll get better.
Derringer Meryl [no longer hiding] Out
2008-01-16 - 3:41 p.m.
and stuff
Feeling the organizing itch here. Very much so. Scott moved the furniture around and that stirred up all the paper work that we've had lying about for a while now that I keep saying "I need to file that" to. So last night we bought an expandable file so I can finally file them, for the love of pete. I want to make sure our taxes (and the forms) are easy to find amidst our messy house. Scott has agreed to a dejunking of our house this weekend. I hope that Katie is amiable. It is not easy to clean or dejunk a house when a baby wants to be held all the time. I wish we had a high chair, she loves to be in one as long as there are foods she can feed herself in front of her. Every time we go to a house that has one (and we do on occasion) she is often sat in it, and fed. I will have to keep my eye out for one so that I can have one in my newly dejunked house!
I think I might stop by the Big Lots on the way home. I think our closet could hold more stuff in it if the stuff was better organized. I think we need another 10000 baskets in our house to put stuff into and out of our way. Also Katie needs a massive toy box now that Christmas is over, so I better find one of those as well. :)
I've been working on (at work, and not very fruitfully) trying to figure out Katie's birthday party. Yes I realize it's January and She was born in May. I'm quite aware that it's four months away. However, There are issues that I'd like to have worked out before we get there. I'm hoping to have a Hello Kitty themed party, because suprisingly, Katie loves Hello Kitty. And that's not just me saying it. She really does. I'm considering having the party at a park so that everyone can come and have fun and we don't have to A) worry about space or B) worry about pre-party cleaning. However we will have to worry about the weather, and reserving the spot in a nice central location. I don't want to have the party all the way up in Salt Lake because I'd be afraid people from down here would be less inclined to come, and if I have it all the way in Orem, then Salt Lake-ites might be less inclined to come. Living in a different county than the majority of your family certainly puts you in a pickle. :P This is why I fret over details 4 months in advance. I want to do a Hello Kitty head for the Cake, and a tiny hello kitty head for Katie to eat. :) In the spirit of First birthday's We might get a hello kitty pinata. But then again, isn't it kind of scary to have a beloved cartoon cat beaten until candy spills out of it? Maybe No on the Pinata.
In Other news, my car has gone retarded again. It revs really high and then switches gears. I hate it. You go to turn a corner in front of a car, and they're doing 40, and you go to turn and it takes 10 minutes to get going that fast. Ok, 10 minutes is an exaggeration. But it takes long enough for it to be VERY annoying.
I think that's all I can think of to say right now. I'm busy trying to find a doctor for Scott to go to as he's not feeling very well. I hope we can work it so we both don't have to miss work, since I've been gone a lot lately. However, I can't imagine it's fun trying to wrangle a baby by yourself at a dr's appointment.
Derringer Meryl [stuff] Out
2008-01-15 - 5:12 p.m.
Here nor there
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [the Operative has politely asked Mal to return River] You have to open with payment.
The Operative: That is a trap. I offer money, you'll play the man of honor and take umbrage; I ask you to do what is right and you'll play the brigand. I have no stomach for games.
Serenity is full of delectable quotes.
Wouldn't you say?
Derringer Meryl [Wind it Up] Out
2008-01-10 - 5:15 p.m.
projects jan 2008
Projects:
Currently I am working on a quilt of Sock monkey's and a quilt with bunnies. Both? yes. Why? I'm insane. LOL, or I guess alternatively you could see that I love quilting and that I really love spending my time doing it. Also, you might take into consideration I also have a quilt at my mother's house that I started in 2005 (after my miscarriage) and have NOT yet completed it. It was meant for Katie, so I'm going to make it a texture quilt (my mom's "Favorite" kind to work with) and make it for Katie's twin bed (when she has one LOL)
In addition to these quilts, I also want to make one (we could survive in a blizzard with the power out with all of our blankets! LOL) that is of all of my video game tees. I have a few other tees' that I want to put in there as well (I have an old Sakura one that I can't fit into and I don't want to get rid of... and a Xena one) Scott has some old T-shirts he LOVES but they need to be retired (sadly... his Binary shirt has a couple of holes in the back of it.) I'd really love to get a couple of new shirts to put in it too. I'm kinda glad I saved some of my old clothes (I have a pair of pants that ripped weird...) so I can slice and dice some of them to make them into a new quilt :)
the down side is ... my sewing machine. Now don't get me wrong. I love my sewing machine as long as it doesn't need a new bobbin and the tension doesn't get messed with. It's all sunshine and bubbles until that happens. Hopefully before the year is out I can get a new one (no offense Mom and Dad, i really appreciate the one I have, it's better than none at all!)
We are also hoping to get our t-shirt company going. i feel it's the blind leading the blind here. I think maybe we should have a few done, (silk screening i think is what we're going to do) and then see with Katie how they wear. Send them through the washer, see if they need to be turned inside out or anything like that.
2008 will be a big year. Hope it's great for everyone! :)
Derringer Meryl [projects] out
2008-01-02 - 1:18 p.m.
end of year recap 2007
End of year recap 2007
lets start with last year's goals:
To go to church at least (very least) three times a month. (which is quite the spike in attendance for us!) - Uh No. we are getting better.
To read my scriptures at least once a week. (again, I'm taking baby steps here!) - Also No, though I do feel like there was an increase.
To go to all the baby courses needed (birthing and feeding courses) - Yes! I got all my courses completed three days before I had Katie.
To get Splendid attendance at work. - Uh Yes and no. I'm much better about being at work at my new job, than I was at my old. So I would say yes in a way and no in another. It was hard going to work at the Big C, however-- coming to work at my current job, much easier!
To have a beautiful baby! (girl? We think) - YES! I DID SOMETHING 100% Katie is the light of our life. :) and a precious girl.
To go to my MIL's family reunion in Oregon (we'd like to) - We didn't Money and time constraints, And I'm not sure how a road trip to Oregon would have worked with a new born anyway
To loose weight (baby weight, before baby weight, any weight will do) - Done and done, I have lost 30 lbs. :) however, I haven't shed any of my pre-baby weight. I hope to do this in the next year
Join Curves! Whoo! i can do it! - Uh No. I'm not sure when I'd have the time to go anyway. Maybe next year?
To get a promotion at Work (up up and away!) - No again. Not that I didn't try REALLY hard at the big C. I guess I did get a job where I was a mentor, however, It wasn't really a promotion because I wasn't paid more or anything. I tried hard. In the end, I got a new job, which I like infinitely better :) yay. :)
Goals for 2008
Church attendance should go up. Muchly so.
Go with my Aunt to the Temple
Spend more time with Scott ;)
Lose more weight - This will take SOME major restraint on my part.
Spend time with my friends (that I've known PRIOR to my marriage)
Give Katie a good first birthday party
Be supportive
Gossip less (I do have a daughter watching me now)
Start Family Home Evening with Katie
Pray nightly
Be less paranoid
Show my love for my family more
Complain less
Finish unfinished projects (quilts, sewing, Dolls, etc)
Learn how to Crochet
Stay on top of housework (weekly)
Recap of 2007
Got to be a Mentor at the Big C
Scott is tired of PH again! and quits completely (YES!)
Starts working at a new job
Amerlee is pregnant! ;) *added because I forgot. ;)
Watched Katie on Ultrasounds almost weekly
Katie is BREECH! (little bugger!)
Family turbulence... :( Sad
Have to make decision on natural labor, or C-section
Carebear is Pregnant
Have Katie Via C-Section - YAY! :) :)
Lashes is Pregnant
Nikki is Pregnant (it's a pregnancy bonanza!)
Go back to work at the Big C
Quit working at the Big C (can't stand it!)
Katie laughs and smiles now :)
Start at current job ;) Love it :)
Katie gets her first two teeth (11/21/2007!!)
Katie's first Christmas :)
Best Birthday EVER, I got lunch, dinner, lunch, and dinner again! Also, a great shopping expedition with my friends in which I got a BUNCH of new clothes :) Thank you everyone :)
The one of the Best presents ever... The Specialist came and hung out with me and Scott on New years :) :) :) :) I was super pleased.
Lots happened this year! Good and Bad. I'm really grateful that I finally did a mostly drama free year. I have had problems in the past causing drama, and I tried really hard this year to be a good girl :) And while the bad things that did happen this year, I feel like I reaped the benefits of any bad situation. I'm very pleased and can only hope that 2008 brings happiness to my family and friends. Happy New Year everyone! :)
